Half an Hour with Mommy

2043 words. About two and a half A4 pages. Not too long a read.

Mommy is home! Yay! I hope she does not have water leaking from her eyes like she did when she went out to that work she goes to.

Oh! My name is Baby. Mommy tells everyone my name is something else, so I know Baby is my secret name. Mommy calls me Baby and when she says it her voice is soft and makes me warm, so I know Baby is my special name.

I am not very big. I am only as tall as my Mommy’s knees. They are nice round cuddly knees and I grab them and hang onto them now that mommy is home, but then Mommy uses her big voice. She says DON’T DO THAT - YOU WILL MAKE ME FALL. I won’t make her fall if she stands still and lets me grab hold of her, but she keeps trying to walk when I am hugging her knees, so maybe that’s why she nearly falls down? It is fun when she tries to walk ‘coz things get really bumpy, and they nearly get scary, and it makes me laugh.

Mommy plays by pretending to pull me off her knees so I grab harder and wriggle so she can’t hold me until she really does get me off her knees. She makes a cross face and I see her cheeks are wet again from her leaking eyes. I laugh because she looks funny.

I do not know why Mommy’s eyes leak so much, but I know mine leak when I am sad. I shall tell you a secret, I think I know why Mommy’s eyes leak so much. It is because she owns something terrible. At night I hear Daddy shout about the nasty thing. He calls it “That Filthy Screaming Brat of Yours”. And when Daddy talks about this Brat thing, like that Mommy’s eyes leak. If I knew what it was, I would throw it out the window so it would not make her so sad. I love Mommy so much and she loves me so much, I really would throw the Brat thing out for her!

Now Mommy is busy in the kitchen, so I try and help her. I see her take out a pot from the cupboard. I know I can do that for her, so I grab another one but then it falls on the floor. It makes a REALLY LOUD bang and is fun, so I pull out another one and another one and another one and they all go banging and crashing on the floor. Mommy makes a very cross face and starts picking up the pots. I think Mommy doesn’t like me helping her. Maybe she is jealous ‘coz I know how to make more noise than her. She just puts all my pots back in the cupboard and the big voice says LEAVE THE POTS ALONE, WILL YOU? I know she is not really cross with me, but Daddy is on about the Noisy Brat and I think that is what makes her mad. He also shouts a lot about a Stupid Whore. I think it must be living with the Brat and really, both of those things must go, leave the flat, so Daddy won’t speak about them to Mommy like that, and make her eyes leak!

Mommy is putting the pots back, so I go to the food cupboard. I know she always takes the yummy stuff out of here, so I pull out the rice packet and all the rice falls onto the floor. It looks funny bouncing around like skinny white raindrops, so I shake the packet around and spread out some more of it. I don’t know why Mommy hates it when I have so much fun? She snatches away the rice, slams the cupboard closed and goes to get a broom to sweep with. WILL YOU STOP IT - DAMN IT! Then she cuddles me, sorry for using her big voice and her eyes leak some more. I just look at her with big wet eyes, because my eyes also leak now.

Mommy puts me down to go and fetch the broom from outside the back door. I forgive her for being cross while she is doing the cooking and I decide I will still help her. I go and get the cooking oil out for her. I see that it has one of those funny plastic tops on it. I know they open, but just haven’t worked out how. Maybe if I use those two funny hard teeth things that have started sticking out in my mouth. Yes, that works! Look, the top pops up! Cool! What else can this bottle do? I shake it to see, and some wet oil stuff jumps out the top onto the floor. It looks funny so I laugh. I shake some more to see if it will do it again and it does. Yay! I do it more, but then it stops jumping out. It just sits in the bottom of the bottle. I know it can all come out, so I look in through the top of the bottle at the oil. It wets my eye and makes my eye sticky and hard to see out of and I don’t like it. I turn the bottle upside down and try and try and get the wet oil stuff out of its hiding place so it can’t stick on my eye again. All the rest of the sticky oil stuff slips out onto the floor. There, that fixed it! I am happy again, so I laugh. Mom comes in with the broom. She stops and looks at me then she starts really crying.

I hate it when Mommy cries so I cry too. Maybe she is crying ‘coz she doesn’t like me. I think that is terrible and I am scared so I cry more. I make a loud noise and screw up my face so tight I can’t see too well, so I have to look at Mommy through the little strips of space left between my scrumpled eyelids. I can’t really see her. Maybe she has gone away and left me! I cry some more. Then lots of wet stinging water runs out my eyes, more than when my eyes just leak. More than when Mommy’s eyes just leak. I must be really sad! Wow! I wonder if more will come out, so I cry even more.

Hey, this noise I am making is funny! I wonder if it can go louder. I cry harder and it does. Maybe now would be a good time for a really loud scream? I scream and scream and am having so much fun I forget to stop and then I am flying through the air as sudden as anything. Yay!

I stop screaming and laugh. I am hanging in the air. Mommy is holding me up with her stiff straight arms and marching with me through to another room. It is so much fun, and I laugh so much, I have to pee. It is nice and warm near my bum. I think that maybe Mommy wants some too, so I save some for her.

Mommy takes off that big piece of scratchy material that she wraps around my bum all the time. Now is my chance to share my pee with her. Whoosh! Gee, it can go far! It makes Mommy jump with excitement, but then she puts on another nappy thing, so I have to stop. I don’t know why she pulls it on me so tight, but I can hardly wiggle my tummy. I don’t like this so I puff my tummy out as far as I can. When Mommy puts me down I un-puff my tummy and the nappy thing falls off. Hey, now I know the secret nappy undoing spell. Oh, no! Mommy knows an even tighter nappy doing up spell.

Mommy goes into her room now and puts me down in there. She wants to change her pee-shirt, so I look at her toys while she is changing. She has this tube of stuff on the bedside table that smells funny. I test the top. Hah! The top is not on properly. Goody! I spread brownish skin-coloured stuff on my hands, but they get too full, so I put it in my hair. My hair sticks up and that feels really funny, so I laugh. I wonder what it tastes like and put a huge gob of it in my mouth. Yuk! It tastes horrible so I cry, and it mixes with my spit and runs out of my mouth like goo. When I cry, Mommy turns around and sees me, so she races over to grab me. She takes away the tube and runs to the bathroom with me. It is too fast for me, and I don’t feel too good after eating the brown stuff, so I sick-up. All my sick and the brown goo lands on Mommy’s new clean shirt and now she smells worse than the stuff in the tube does, so I cry more. Mommy washes out my mouth in a mad hurry, and she cleans my hands and face but the water freezing cold, so I kick and wriggle and scream. STOP THAT! What does she mean stop that? She isn’t hanging over the basin in mid-air with cold water being splashed all over her so how does she know if I should kick and scream or not?

Mommy looks for Daddy and says TAKE YOUR SON FOR A MINUTE GADDAMNIT! She gives me to him really hard. I go from her arms to his really fast, so I laugh, and Daddy looks at mommy’s yukky shirt and cross face and my smiling happy face and so he laughs with me. Mommy goes off stomping hard on the ground making the tables rattle and comes back in another clean shirt. I don’t know why she has to keep changing all the time, but her clothes are pretty so maybe that is why. I only look at her quickly and give her a small smile and turn my face back to Daddy ‘coz I am busy now playing with Daddy’s little black television stick toy. Daddy is drinking from his bottle, and I laugh at it. The ones he drinks from every day are a boring brown colour, but mine are see-through and have bunnies on. I bet Daddy wishes he had my bottle instead of his! Daddy has a real lot of them every day though. I can see a pile of them on the floor. I wriggle down to play with Daddy’s empty bottles and Mommy reaches out to stop me. Hah! I am too fast for her! I train in my playpen doesn’t she know! I am slick-baby-quick! I grab the full bottle and take a sip. Eeuw! Daddy’s bottles are full of poison, not like my yummy milk bottles. I pour it out on the floor and Daddy starts going on about the Brat thing again. I don’t know where the scary Brat thing is that makes Daddy angry all the time. I look at Mommy and cry and so she picks me up and cuddles me. It is nice, so I snuggle up and get ready to sleep now, because I have been working hard helping Mommy.

I know Mommy uses her Big Voice on me, but I know she loves me. She is always worried about the things Daddy says about the Whore and the Brat. Oh, I wish I could speak! I would tell her to chuck them out, and I would tell her to give Daddy milk instead of the the poison he gets for himself. Then I know everything would be just perfect! I am glad Mommy is home from work, because Daddy does not play with me or talk to me in the day. He just sits in the chair with the TV stick toy and his poison bottles and the Auntie has to look after me.

Oh! I just love my Mommy. Please excuse me now, Mommy is cuddling me, and I really must curl up here and sleep now, I am so happy.

© CATHERINE KNEE 2023. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED