For Always

Writing exercise - write for 20 minutes on losing someone that you love.

How bleak the world is. The only light that shone through my dreary life has been blown out with a gale-force wind. I was almost obliterated in the aftershock.

 How can you be gone from me?

 The gaping void left where your presence used to fill is enormous. The weight of being left to stand alone pushes me down, crushing me into a faded pressed flower, with all of the juices of life sucked out of me. The winter that has stolen into my life has bleached the colours from the world, leaving muted hues of greys and blacks.

The funereal darkness in my soul sends frost and ice into my barren heart. The only colour I can find is the blood-red slashes of pain that stampede uninhibited through my mind when I think of you. The agony of my memories rent gaping wounds in my mind.

No, I cannot think of you. No sooner than I do, then my brave façade of normality crashes down around me in a rainstorm of tears with lightning strikes of pain, and thundering blood pounds through my veins.

My face is solidified into a mask of grief with furrows of ordeal ploughing through my skin. Bruises smear beneath my eyes from sleepless nights. My hair hangs in lanky greasy lifeless strands. I slouch around in my slippers and fight to see through the haze of salt water.

My whole identity is lost. Who am I, if I am no longer yours?

I know not what to do and say. My motivation for living has been taken away. I can never be the same. The biggest part of me has died along with you. You took my heart and my love with you. What have I left?

I cannot continue in this winter world.

© CATHERINE KNEE 2023. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED